A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he has lived all his life and into a real forest. Since he lived in the magical forest he has magical powers. He sees a bear chasing a rabbit and thinks to himself, this isn't right, everyone should live in peace. So he stops the bear and rabbit and tells them that if they stop chasing each other he'll give them both three wishes.
The bear thinks for a second and wishes that all the rest of the bears in the forest were female. Poof, all of them are female. Next the rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. The bear looks at the rabbit wondering why he would want a crash helmet.
The bear thinks for a second making sure he makes a good second wish and wishes that all the rest of the bears in the country were female. Again -- poof -- all the rest became female. Then the rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Now the bear steps back and looks at the rabbit in amazment. How dumb is this rabbit he thinks to himself. All he had to do was wish for money and he could buy all the motorcycles he ever wanted. This has to be the dumbest creature the bear has ever seen, he thinks to himself.
It is time for the bear's final wish and he takes a second to think and makes sure he doesn't waste it. After a minute he wishes that all the other bears in the whole world were female. And again poof they are all female.
Next the rabbit puts on his helmet and jumps on the bike. He turns around and smiles. Then he says, ''I wish that that bear is a female.''
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So , let me get this straight…..your Honda has 1.6 liters, whereas my bottle of Mountain Dew has 2?
Change…..it’s what is left after taxes.
- Shaken....Not Stirred 2003 Mach I Auto Torch Red - Sold
-1988 Ford Mustang GT Convertible, 331 Trick Flow Stroker with a Tremec 3550....oh yea and a 1.6 liter V-TECH motor to work the convertible top.
- 1966 Inline 6……..the pile of parts car!
Fire Engine
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>>A firefighter is working on the engine outside the
> >> >>>>station when he notices a little girl riding down the
> >> >>>>sidewalk in a little red wagon with little ladders
> >> >>>>hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in
> >> >>>>the middle.
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>>The girl is wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon
> >> >>>>is being pulled by her dog and her cat. The
> >> >>>>firefighter walks out to take a closer look.
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>>"That is a nice fire truck," he says admiringly.
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>>"Thanks, Mister Fireman," the girl says.
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>>The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the
> >> >>>>girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the
> >> >>>>cat's testicles.
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>>"Little partner," the firefighter says, "I don't want
> >> >>>>to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to
> >> >>>>tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you
> >> >>>>could go faster."
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>>The little girl replies sweetly, "You're probably
> >> >>>>right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.
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2002 v6 manual, SSM P&P Heads, Comp Cam from SSM, and some other stuff full list in profile.
214 RWHP, 215 RWTQ
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so" -Ronald Reagan
A toad goes to the local forest witch with a rather embarrassing problem. He is obviously sad and forlorn. Concerned, the witch asks him what is the wrong and how she can help. The toad looks up at her with sad eyes and says, "All the other toads make fun of me. They all have greenish-brown penises, the same color of their skin. My penis is yellow. I'm a laughing stock and none of the female toads will have anything to do with me. Can you help me by performing a spell to make it the right color?"
"I'm sorry," said the witch, "that's really outside of my field of expertise. You'll have to go into the city and see the Wizard for that one. I'm sure he can help you."
The little toad was cheered a little to find out that someone would be able to help him. He wanted to set off at once and asked the witch for directions to the Wizard. She was more than happy to give them to him.
"Well, you take the path out of my back door, follow that until you come to a hollow stump. At the stump, you take a right and keep going until you see a big rock that looks like a turtle. Take a left at the rock and keep going until you see a big, old oak tree. Take another right at the oak tree and go until you see the city gates. Once through the city gates, go right and walk until you see the bakery. Turn left at the bakery and take the street right up to the Wizard's palace."
"Thank you so much!" said the toad as he headed off.
Next in line was an odd looking skunk who also looked forlorn.
"Please, can you help me," asked the skunk "As you can see, the stripe on my back is hot pink instead of white. All the other skunks make fun of me. Is there anything you can do?"
"I'm sorry," said the witch, "that's really outside of my field of expertise. You'll have to go into the city and see the Wizard for that one. I'm sure he can help you."
The skunk was also happy to find out that someone would be able to help him. He wanted to set off at once and asked the witch for directions to the Wizard. She began the tedious task of giving them to him, but then she had an idea. Her reply?
Chuck Norris rules!
I read his autobiography, that man has some morals and principals, maybe he should run for president!
Yes, and he would have a big R next to his name!!!!!!!!!
Unlike most of hollywould...
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I Hate GM, deal with it.
One shot, One Kill! Don't waste ammo, it's pricey!
2005 GT Screaming Yellow: SLP Loudmouths
Ibanez guitars, S&W revolvers, Glock Semi's
Republican write in Presidential Candidate 2012
he will also get a reminder ever time he goes through a airport metal detector!
__________________
So , let me get this straight…..your Honda has 1.6 liters, whereas my bottle of Mountain Dew has 2?
Change…..it’s what is left after taxes.
- Shaken....Not Stirred 2003 Mach I Auto Torch Red - Sold
-1988 Ford Mustang GT Convertible, 331 Trick Flow Stroker with a Tremec 3550....oh yea and a 1.6 liter V-TECH motor to work the convertible top.
- 1966 Inline 6……..the pile of parts car!
<TABLE class=bodyblue_v2 id=jokeIframeTable2 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD></TD><TD>A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."
The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."
The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."
The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man." The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two." The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."
Guy steps inside a Barber shop, asks how long until he can get a haircut. Barber says "a couple of hours." Guy does not return.
Days later, guy shows up, same thing.
Week later, same thing-how long 'til I can get a haircut? Few hours.
Barber has enough and asks a friend to follow the guy to see what's up. Friend comes back,Barber asks where the guy went. Friend says "your house!"
Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it takes to run from first to second?
Because you have a short stop between second and third.
__________________
So , let me get this straight…..your Honda has 1.6 liters, whereas my bottle of Mountain Dew has 2?
Change…..it’s what is left after taxes.
- Shaken....Not Stirred 2003 Mach I Auto Torch Red - Sold
-1988 Ford Mustang GT Convertible, 331 Trick Flow Stroker with a Tremec 3550....oh yea and a 1.6 liter V-TECH motor to work the convertible top.
- 1966 Inline 6……..the pile of parts car!
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, “Quick pour me twelve drinks.”
So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back really fast, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, “Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast.”
The guys says, “Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I''ve got.”
The bartender says, “What''ve you got?”
The guy says, “75 cents.”
__________________
So , let me get this straight…..your Honda has 1.6 liters, whereas my bottle of Mountain Dew has 2?
Change…..it’s what is left after taxes.
- Shaken....Not Stirred 2003 Mach I Auto Torch Red - Sold
-1988 Ford Mustang GT Convertible, 331 Trick Flow Stroker with a Tremec 3550....oh yea and a 1.6 liter V-TECH motor to work the convertible top.
- 1966 Inline 6……..the pile of parts car!
Harlow was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so
he
sent his wife Mary to the hardware store.
At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf
while
she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a
customer.
When Carl was finished, Mary asked "How much for the teapot?"
Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $300!"
"My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary exclaimed.
Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Harlow had sent her to
buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Carl yelled, "Mary, you wanna screw for that
hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
This is why you can't send a woman to a hardware store.
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2006 GT Tungsten Grey 5 spd, Xcal2/Pipeline CAI, Powerhouse tune. Spoiler delete. Front Speakers:Infinity 6812CF;Blaupunkt GTc652. Rear:Infinity Kappa 682.7CF. H/U:Alpine CDA-9885. Alpine MRP-F250 amp. Sequentials. President of the Splash guard registry. On Deck: Motoblue UDP's.
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