Why are teenage boys so complicated? This one in particular has been driving my friend mad lately.. and I could kinda see it coming.
Heres the story:
Sam (my friend) & Nick (the guy) are next door neighbours and started off as great friends from the first time they met. They promised eachother they would not fall in love with eachother, just stay friends. But last week Nick told Sam he loved her. Sam freaked out, and started stressing.. wondering if she brought it on?She asked him if he was sure and he said he was. Then a few days ago he told her that he was mistaken and didnt love her, but someone else (after seeing her stress for a few days).
She got really upset and started asking me why. I told her the only reason she was so deeply hurt was because she felt something for him, but when he revoked his 'love' for her, she felt worthless [which was true because she felt so awful and so worthless because now this guy didnt like her back]. She's just very confused, and i told her the likely reason he told her he didnt love her, was because he saw how much pressure it was putting on her.
Sure enough, he told ehr yesterday that the only reason he did it was because he saw how she reacted and he went on to start insulting himself and saying he wasnt good enough. Now my friend is upset because she cant decide if she likes him backa dnw hetehr to tell him (she doesnt want a relationship or anything right now, she not ready for it).
Now heres the important part, is this guy full of BS or is he genuine? I personalyl thought it was sweet that he was willing to take back his feelings to keep their friendship, but it didnt do much for my friend who feels as if she's been f'd over twice this week. Whats your opinion on this situation? any advice?
why do you think hes complicated?...shes the one muckin everythin up...first she gives the guy grief cause he says he loves her...then she gives him grief because he says he doesnt...buy that movie "chasing amy" and make em both watch it...i'm serious...cause they'll learn alot...by the way...how does he love her when i'm assumin they've never boinked around? make em watch the movie and tell them to go slow and just be honest with each other
you dont have to 'boink around' to be in love do you? What makes matters complicated for me is I can only speak to her, I have no idea of his actual side on all this. I think she has mucked it up, but hes complicated because he says he loves her and tries to fix it by taking it back.. how on earth could that possibly work out good?
why do you think hes complicated?...shes the one muckin everythin up...first she gives the guy grief cause he says he loves her...then she gives him grief because he says he doesnt...buy that movie "chasing amy" and make em both watch it...i'm serious...cause they'll learn alot...by the way...how does he love her when i'm assumin they've never boinked around? make em watch the movie and tell them to go slow and just be honest with each other
This iswhat I was thinking... she was complicated and he was just saving face, then she wigged out.
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saving face sint what I'd call it, he has been sucking up and saying he does love her but he 'knows' she doesnt feel the same way.. which is BS cos she does but denies it cos shes afraid of the consequences...
Being a male, I think that if she led him on at all, and never loved him back, then he owes her nothing. I'm sorry if that sounds callous, but that's just the way we (or at least I) think.
Pretty much every woman who ever made me feel good, (for more than one night) ended up making me feel very bad.
But I'm not bitter, ok, maybe a little...
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lol MG. She didnt lead him on, shes just an awesome girl. I dont know what to tell her, I honestly think she should tell him that she is unsure about how she feels for him, but it might be that she likes him too. But she also has to say she doesnt want a relationship because she's not ready... but i wanted advice.
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Teen boys ARE complicated and illogical (as are teen girls, though girls are ahead of the the boys by about a year or so on the hormonal curve). Trying to figure out girls when they have yet to figure out themselves (and there are many who never accomplish either) drives them insane.
Honest and fair handed treatment should be levied out by BOTH sides. Its as though both human beings are injured comrades on the battlefield (of Life). If they can help each other and be kind while doing it, WITHOUT inflicting more damage, its about the best they can do.
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tripleblack
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Oh, God, where do I start....Ok, first off...HAAAAAA!!!!! Boys more complicated than girls? Are you f&*king kidding me? There, glad I got that off my chest.
The guy is genuinely in love with the girl and the girl probably loves him back but she is a teen girl so she THINKS she doesn't realize it, but in fact she does....she just doesn't want to admit it yet....not even to you, Babii. So, she f**ks with his head by being an indecisive teen girl. The guy sees the pain or stress or whatever you'd like to call it that he is putting on her. He loves her SO MUCH (and because he's a dumb teen boy that doesn't know any better), that he takes it back. Granted, this was NOT the right thing to do. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to love, no matter what the consequences. This also causes the goofy teen girl anguish and the guy learns his first lesson on women....no matter what you do, you can't make them happy. We're making progress here.
So, he professes his love again because he realizes its the right thing to do and that he really wants her to know and she is still playing the "I don't know" game. Babii, tell your friend that she is in love with the guy because she is and she knows it, she is probably just scared. Then they'll fall in love, get married, and have 54.9 kids. THE END.
I just love happy endings...yes, I like THOSE happy endings, too, but thats not what I was talking about.
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MB, you hit the nail right on the head. Girls are more complicated in every sense of the word. I have been in this situation more than once with my Daughter. We have played this game out several times, and I'm the one picking up the pieces when she's crying on my shoulder. This is simply female denial. Although she is not at the stage to date or see anyone, love is a huge, complicated endeavor for both involved. True love, or puppy love? This sounds like more of puppy love than anything. Heck, aren't they like in 9th grade or something? I can't tell you how many girls I fell in love with in High School. Heck, I fall in love every day now, but that's another story...... I think that they should discuss the ramifications if they start seeing each other and it doesn't work out. If they are friends now, can they be friends later. Emotions play a huge part in relationships when you are young. Friendships are great, but love is best. I would talk to Sam and find out what she really wants. If she doesn't feel ready for a relationship, then tell him that, if he really loves her, he would continue to be friends, and when she's ready, she would pick him to date. If she doesn't then she was just leading him on.....
Why are teenage boys so complicated? This one in particular has been driving my friend mad lately.. and I could kinda see it coming.
Heres the story:
Sam (my friend) & Nick (the guy) are next door neighbours and started off as great friends from the first time they met. They promised eachother they would not fall in love with eachother, just stay friends. But last week Nick told Sam he loved her. Sam freaked out, and started stressing.. wondering if she brought it on?She asked him if he was sure and he said he was. Then a few days ago he told her that he was mistaken and didnt love her, but someone else (after seeing her stress for a few days).
She got really upset and started asking me why. I told her the only reason she was so deeply hurt was because she felt something for him, but when he revoked his 'love' for her, she felt worthless [which was true because she felt so awful and so worthless because now this guy didnt like her back]. She's just very confused, and i told her the likely reason he told her he didnt love her, was because he saw how much pressure it was putting on her.
Sure enough, he told ehr yesterday that the only reason he did it was because he saw how she reacted and he went on to start insulting himself and saying he wasnt good enough. Now my friend is upset because she cant decide if she likes him backa dnw hetehr to tell him (she doesnt want a relationship or anything right now, she not ready for it).
Now heres the important part, is this guy full of BS or is he genuine? I personalyl thought it was sweet that he was willing to take back his feelings to keep their friendship, but it didnt do much for my friend who feels as if she's been f'd over twice this week. Whats your opinion on this situation? any advice?
Sounds genuine to me.
But remember, hormones are in play, and make you say and do stuff you wouldn't do once you figure out how to deal with them.
For example, now I no longer need sunglasses when walking down the beach in San Diego.
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Woe to him who builds his palace by unrighteousness,his upper rooms by injustice,making his countrymen work for nothing...Does it make you a king to have more and more cedar?Did not your father have food and drink?He did what was right and just,so all went well with him. He defended the cause of the poor and needy,and so all went well...But your eyes and your heart are set only on dishonest gain,on shedding innocent blood and on oppression and extortion. Jer 22:13, 15-17
Question for anyone 
) ended up making me feel very bad.
I think that they should discuss the ramifications if they start seeing each other and it doesn't work out. If they are friends now, can they be friends later. Emotions play a huge part in relationships when you are young. Friendships are great, but love is best. I would talk to Sam and find out what she really wants. If she doesn't feel ready for a relationship, then tell him that, if he really loves her, he would continue to be friends, and when she's ready, she would pick him to date. If she doesn't then she was just leading him on.....
