A guy on the local board does this every now and then. It's extremely funny so enjoy.
****Rev. Turbo5oh takes the podium****
<ahem>
My brutha's and sista's that have gathered together today in the House of the Stang, thank you for being here and sharing your love. But I have some bad news for you my people, there is evilness and sin in this holy city. There are nay-sayers, unbelievers, deciples of the devil himself I'm here to tell you. "No! Say it isn't so Reverend!," my people say. But it's true.
Who are these evil demons? What can I do to protect myself? You must have faith my brothers and sisters, faith. Faith in your Mustang for it will lead you to better things. These demons, these nay-sayers, these unbelievers of the ways of the mustang will try to break you. Keep your faith and the faith in your fellow brothers and thine rightesnous will shine! Thou will rise above the evil demons and proclaim, "Feel my horsepower! Hear my exhaust! See me wax thine devine behind!"
Brothers and sisters, bask in your glory, behold your precious ponies and know that thine faith in thy Mustang will overcome all evil mini-vans and 4-doors and bring this family together in this house of Stang. Now put some zing in your thing, keep the bling for your ring, and bring the sting with the king.
Pulled up to the light the other day and a 3 year old on his big wheel looked over at me and then at the light. I knew that it was on. The big wheel was hooked up, rims, sickers,ground FX, the works. Just before the light turned green the little ******* pointed to the NOS sicker on his machine and left a plasic patch that lasted about 100ft. I didn't stand a chance, I was smoked. He rasied his fist in victory and when home for milk and cookies, I just went to the track. :rolleyes:
Originally posted by 95justang A guy on the local board does this every now and then. It's extremely funny so enjoy.
****Rev. Turbo5oh takes the podium****
<ahem>
My brutha's and sista's that have gathered together today in the House of the Stang, thank you for being here and sharing your love. But I have some bad news for you my people, there is evilness and sin in this holy city. There are nay-sayers, unbelievers, deciples of the devil himself I'm here to tell you. "No! Say it isn't so Reverend!," my people say. But it's true.
Who are these evil demons? What can I do to protect myself? You must have faith my brothers and sisters, faith. Faith in your Mustang for it will lead you to better things. These demons, these nay-sayers, these unbelievers of the ways of the mustang will try to break you. Keep your faith and the faith in your fellow brothers and thine rightesnous will shine! Thou will rise above the evil demons and proclaim, "Feel my horsepower! Hear my exhaust! See me wax thine devine behind!"
Brothers and sisters, bask in your glory, behold your precious ponies and know that thine faith in thy Mustang will overcome all evil mini-vans and 4-doors and bring this family together in this house of Stang. Now put some zing in your thing, keep the bling for your ring, and bring the sting with the king.
Bless you all
Time for some holy water.......
And now let us turn the page in our hymnals to #5.0 and sing, "Will the Windsor be Unbroken..."
__________________
1976 Ford Mustang II Ghia: 302 with a 600cfm Edelbrock carb, Edelbrock Performer 289 intake, Dynomax Blackjack headers, 2.5" exhaust with Flowmaster Super 44s. RJS 11-gallon fuel cell, C4 tranny, chrome 16" pony wheels, fuzzy dice, brown vinyl half-top, and painted in the tackiest color ever (harvest gold, that's why I call it "The Goldenrod").
Also have a 2003 Dodge Ram (lightly modded daily driver/tow rig/office/dining room/home away from home/workshop... I call it "The Big Blue Dawg".)
Black,79 Mustang mostly carbon fiber/kevlar body, M-2300-k brake kit, full roll cage, maximum motorsport suspension, custom geared 6 speed, 2 inch rear fender flares, 1 inch front, motor being built (no eta). Looks like the Mad Max interseptor and weighs about 1800lbs w/o motor (450hp 351w installed to move the car around)
Black, 82 Capri RS 5.0L, B303, 1.7 rockers, World 180 heads, +150hp N.O.S, Turbo coupe rear end, T-56(tremec tko would be beter), 80 cobra nose
I can feel the love my brothers.... I can see the light !
Thats was funny.... Good post 95justang
__________________
1995 Mustang GT - Vert
RHD Conversion, Vortech V2-SQ, 42# injectors, CAPA Chip, 18" BonSpeed Wheels, 3.73 Motive Gears, AutoMeter Gauge Pod, Pedders Springs, Koni Shocks, 13" Cobra Brakes, BBK Shorty Headers
~~ He Who Dies With The Most Toys Wins. But Is Nonetheless Dead ! ~~
You have found your religion right here my child.....your religion is speed and all things fast. Fear not the bringer of the rice! Stand tall my brothers and walk with cubic inches of merciless wretched being! Lay down the smacketh! Be true to thine self and prosper in the fruits of your wrenches.
Your ten commandments are as follows
Thou shall not worship any other car
Thou shall not put lights on your washer nozzles
Thou shall honour thy mother, thy father and thy speed shop owner
Thou shall go racing on the sabbath
Thou shall not covet thy neighbors turbo(s)
Thou shall kill thy parts as necessary
Thou shall not commit redlights on a pro-tree
Thou shall not lie about thy timeslips
Thou shall change thy oil accordingly
Thou shall be kind to thy bretheren Mustang owners
Now go forth my children and spread the good word.
This is the last one, well at least the last one that doesn't go into a drunken rant. LOL. This one is from someone different than the first two.
I cruise down the valley of the shadow of rice, I fear NO Honda .For I am in a Mustang.My Blower and my nitrous comforts me. It maketh me lie down some huge holeshots,Black masses and mounds of rubber and asphalt rippeth from the earth as I power wheeelie. But leadeth me from temptation from street racing for my spray is armed and set on kill. And all who shall lie in my path will be set assunder.For on the streets god is with me and IN MY CAR GOD IS WITH ME! He leadeth me down paths of rightiousness to victory .For my mustang is my kindom and my power and my glory for ever and ever.
I layeth here under my STANG, tightening bolts and strengthening the frame. I built it, to race it and not for a loss, cause in this land the MUSTANG is boss.
I check all the fluids and I fill up her tank, cause when I beat imports I take them to the bank. I power through 1st with some fast RPMs, I push in the clutch and I do it again, I go for third just in time, as another import gets farther behind. I take the horse home for a little time off. I got 3 UPS packages today ( a blower, a shifter and maybe my NOS.)
These are the things we put on for pride, for wasting some imports on late Friday nights. Those that don't understand the meanings of life, should drive a MUSTANG someday to see what it's like.
Funny Mustang Sermon 
Now this is a sweet topic. 
