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My ex-girlfriend misses me. I usually manage to get away while she's reloading. I'm glad I filed that restraining order against her that makes her stay at least a hundred yards away from me at all times, 'cause I don't think she'd keep missing at closer range.
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Gary Paul hates it when people refer to themselves in the third person. If you won't talk about yourself in the first person, don't expect anyone else to do so after you're dead.
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I was going to write a song about the meaning of life, but I couldn't think of anything that rhymes with Kevorkian.
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I don't agree with that animal rights group's views on not wearing fur coats, but I do like their bread - especially in a gyros sandwich.
 
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